“There’s always hope, Gandhi. When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make super-lemons.” Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard from a high school principal.
Life gave me lemons. A few bouts of illness, plus a ridiculously heavy course load coupled with the workplace practicum my degree requires, and a supervisor who hated me and expected the world of me. I’ve been horrendously busy, no time for anything, but I don’t complain because I was given my lemons, and I’m working on my super-lemons.
In spring-summer of 2008 I started a magickal working to get my life on track, it was a series of complex and oddly connected rituals. It’s not over, that’s the beauty, this hectic rush I just survived is just the latest manifestation of my path taking me where I belong. So yes, I went too long without sex, social encounters, or magick for the sake of exploration, but it was all a sacrifice to my Path, to my Self as I continue.
I’m boggled when I see people (moreso when they are occultists) who balk and complain about the amount of work required to reach their goals, especially when it is a goal they used magick to gain the opportunity for.
Whether it’s in some far-off abstract magick realm, or the nitty-gritty physical world, it takes work, it’s the Great Work people.
So while I’m sorry I haven’t blogged, and miss magick that isn’t just daily practice or patching up the boat, I’m glad I went through such a ridiculously hectic period when I had time for nothing else. I have a summer free, and a world to love with magick. New experiments and ventures coming soon. Stay tuned for tinkering with reality, exploring the world, and even a radio show (I’m baffled by that too).
personal
06
Mar
2012
Invisibility, Swords, and Cemeteries
Polyphanes posted “Be a ninja! Remain unseen! Here’s How.” Inspired by this post I wanted to talk about three examples of what I’ve done to hide myself, and share one of my favourite stories of (possible) magickal invisibility.
For structured and clear rituals, there is the Rose Cross. I don’t know how traditional it is, but I was taught it with the instruction that it can be used to deflect attention, to make you invisible, and I’ve had good results with that.
I admit I'm clueless to what this says, hopefully something witty and ironic.
Another method I have takes a bit of practice. Go stand against a wall and press yourself flat against it, try to hide against the wall, even if there is nothing to cover you. Then reach out and try to draw the wall around, the energy, the perception, the concept of the wall, pull it across you like a curtain. This is all well and good if you have to hide against walls, but it’s not very portable, but the idea is. That is the training. Get used to the sensation, physical, mental, emotional, energetic/spiritual of pressing against the wall trying to avoid notice. Now stand in the middle of a room and try to flatten yourself against the centre of the room. It’s hard to explain, but just as you pressed yourself against the wall, away from the room, now you are pressing yourself away from everywhere at once. To use a sci-fi analogy by backing away from everything at once you’re pushing yourself out of phase (what does that even mean?) of our physical reality. In this state draw the room around, as you did with the wall, covering yourself in the same way. If you keep your focus on being drawn away and covered you can actually move around with this, leave the area, and pass beneath notice on the move.
The last technique is a bit simpler to pull off. All you need is a few small candles, a mirror, and a dark room. Light the candles (I prefer nine, for Lunar associations of illusion, and the ability to go unseen like the New Moon) place them within easy reach of you and turn off the light. Sit in front of the mirror (you can stand, but subtle swaying makes it more difficult) and just stare at your reflection until it starts to blur. Once it blurs for a moment blow out a candle, and see the light from the extinguished flame being drawn into you. Repeat this for each candle. The idea is you’re associating a blurred harder to see image with yourself, and you’re drawing the light from the candles, what allows you to be seen, into you. The light which illuminates you is being taken into you, is in your control.
Now, invisibility and my humorous past. No surprise, I do a lot of work in cemeteries. While there are several closer to me, there is an excellent cemetery for rituals a 20 minute walk away. This cemetery has several streams, open fields, forests, it’s great. There is one spot in that cemetery I love for rituals; two roads intersect making a crossroad, two streams go underground near there and seem to cross underneath this area at the cross-quarters, and between the roads there are small walls sealing in this crossroad. I love it. Now sometimes rituals are small…sometimes not so much. When I had a big ritual to perform there I did the Rose Cross and the Mirror/Candle to make me invisible, or so people won’t pay attention to me.
So I put on my backpack, filled with my ritual items, and limped to the cemetery -as my ritual sword was tucked in my right pant leg so it can’t be seen, but obviously limited my range of movement. I get to the cemetery about two hours after it closes, other than around Halloween security only patrols it for an hour after closing. Waiting for a lull in traffic (no need to push my luck) I snuck through the gate they never lock. I finally arrive at my crossroads, and unpack my ritual stuff. Pillar candles set at the crossquarters of the intersection, incense in the eight directions against the wall, black silk robes put on, and of course my ritual sword now safely out of my pants. (That sounds wrong, but I’m keeping it in.)
It was a clear full moon night, so it was very bright and easy to see. I called to the Guardians of the Cemetery, set up my magickal boundaries, and dived into the ritual. About half an hour into the ritual, I’m standing in the centre of the crossroads, the walls are a good 20m at least away from me, bright moonlight while I contrast it in solid black, sword thrust toward the sky, when suddenly at the road just south of me the security guards drive by. It’s only 80m away (260 feet), nothing between us, they drive by slowly, and passed out of site.
Artist's rendition
Being confident in my magick I just stood there… okay, not really, I ran and grabbed my backpack and knelt against the farside of the wall in the shadows. This put me as far away from them as possible if they either did a U-turn, or took the next corner to loop back. And a minute passed, and another, and another. After maybe five-ten minutes, far longer than it should have taken them to get back there was still no sign of them. I move back to the centre and resume the ritual and complete it, the security guards never drove by again. Really they should have, they didn’t patrol the quarter I was in, and I was there long enough that they had enough time to cover the entire cemetery more than once.
This is always my favourite story about magickal invisibility. Though, a friend (or possibly my brother, I forget now) did give a less magickal alternative that I’m still fond of. “If you’re a security guard in a cemetery, and one full moon night you see a black robed shadow wielding a sword on the top of a hill, your first thought is ‘Fuck no. I’ve seen this horror movie’ and you keep driving.” Of course, even if they saw me and were unnerved, they paid me no attention, so in that way still a success.
06
Mar
2012
Success, Signs, and Proof of Magickal Workings
A young monk was doing a meditation retreat, and every day during his afternoon meditation Buddha would appear to him in a brilliant light. Finally he said to his teacher “Every time I meditate I see Lord Buddha.” His teacher nodded and said “Just keep breathing, he goes away eventually.”
At dinner a friend asked me “What are the signs of a successful magickal working?” At first I gave two answers which dealt more with the path of results, but then I went back to the exceedingly obvious and true answer “What was intended, comes to pass.” Much like the young monk we often get too caught up in the signs during, but really it is the sign after that matters.
When I cook dinner, the sign of a good meal has nothing to do with how the water boiled, if the onion chopped perfectly, or if the sauce bubbled in a specific shape. I’ve bad great meals where everything goes wrong, things burn, or don’t brown right, or nothing seems to happen at all. The sign of a good meal is when it’s all over if it is delicious and well-made.
Every once and a while the debate flairs up about visual/physical manifestation during magick, and I think it deals with the phenomena all wrong. Sometimes when I do magick I get the weird noises, lights, solid looking faces forming out of smoke, stuff moving, glass shattering, and the other woogity. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a dark smoky room, staring at a black mirror and just talking to myself.
The odd part to some people? Just because a face forms out of smoke doesn’t mean I’m any more likely to succeed than the times it feels silent. I think these signs are probably dependant on something why don’t fully understand, some complex combination that people don’t have the whole picture of, and that’s okay. What matters is getting results, especially results with repeated success.
A friend contracted me for some magick last week; he lost something valuable three days before and couldn’t find it. He offered to pay me for the help, and only because he is my best friend did I allow him the deal that I only got paid if I succeeded. So I did a brief divination, which gave an area for him to search, but also said that “yes this item would be found.” I told him that, and then I contracted two spirits I use specifically for lost objects, they agreed to help and said it wasn’t a problem. This was before bed, when he went into work the next morning a co-worker had found the item and gave it back to him. My friend decided that this wasn’t a magickal success, after all, he didn’t have a chance to look where the dice said, and someone just happened to find it and gave it back to him four days later randomly, within twelve hours of my work on the case.
I let this slide, he’s my best friend, I’d help him without the offer of payment, but I was more confused by the idea that the success wasn’t magick. I guess I forgot to stipulate it had to be delivered by blue butterflies, as well as arriving at the right time. The signs of successful magick aren’t what happens during the ritual, aren’t the ways it happens (not necessarily at least), but that success occurs. More precisely though I’d say that success occurs repeatedly, against the odds of both individual and repeated occurrences.
Crowley said “Success be thy proof” not “Crazy-ass lights while you yell in Hebrew be thy proof” or “Your Scarlet Woman coalesces out of thin air be thy proof.” Success people. Magick is a path and all paths are made of goals, look for the success.
31
Jan
2012
Efficient Practices: The Shadow of Use What Works
I jog semi-regularly (since New Year’s not so much) generally each time I’m out is about 30 minutes. I also used to stretch the way I was told to, which took 20 minutes before hand. Then I read a study referencing the Tarahumari who are really the world’s greatest runners, they don’t stretch at all, when they need to run, they just go. Also despite what people believe those who stretch before running have a higher injury rate (also the more expensive your runners are, the more likely you are to get injured, but that’s irrelevant, just amusing). So I cut out the 20 minute long stretching, and my runs stayed the same, then got a bit better in regards to knee pains. What does this have to do with magick? Simply put: stop doing useless shit.
The axiom “Use what works” gets tossed around a lot, but less emphasis is placed on its double-negative twin “Don’t use what doesn’t work.”
I’m a big supporter of daily practices and magicking from multiple angles, but sometimes they are done wrong. The Law of Diminishing Returns applies to magickal practice just as well as anything else. Most people will recognize this, but most don’t think to apply it to daily practice. Simplified the law states that at a certain point what you put into something does not equal what you get out of it, and can even lessen it to an extreme. The common example is farming. A plot of land can yield X amount of crops in a year, with Y units of fertilizer is may yield 110% X, with 2Y it may yield 120% X but with 3Y only 125%X. Eventually fertilizer can only do so much, and too much fertilizer actually burns the soil and crops and you end up with less than initially.
Magick is often the same way. There reaches a point where you have done pretty much everything you can, and anything more will not do as much as you think, or will even work against your goals. Daily practice is the same way, maybe it’s time to cull what you do. This is where “Don’t use what doesn’t work” comes into play.
This is part of my two week period between my birthday and New Years, I evaluate what has worked, and doesn’t work, what practice is useless, or does not do enough for the time and/or effort involved. If you spend all of your time and energy on stuff that does little or nothing, then you’ll lack the time and energy to do what you need to be successful. If you’re magickal focus is scattered between all these practices then your results will be just as scattered.
I wish I were making this example up. I know someone (not a friend) who is a member of the OTO, the Golden Dawn, studying with a Tantric Yogi, attending a Buddhist Temple, working his way through Initiation into Hermetics, while keeping up a personal practice of Energy Work. While his commitment is to be admired, as a magickian he’s not successful. Simple reason; he’s doing too much, he can’t grapple any of the systems with the depth they deserve, and is doing so many different daily practices that he’s pulling his etheric body in twelve directions at once (as well as probably spending too much time in magickal practice and not enough in real world action).
Not to say multiple practices and traditions are bad, but there is a point of diminishing returns. Take a look at your daily practice, what isn’t serving you anymore? Do you really need three different types of meditation? Do they support each other, or conflict? How many Pentagram/Hexagram rituals do you really need in a day? Are you really getting results from three different methods of strengthening and invigorating your energy body? I’ve recently cut about thirty minutes from my daily practices, and I’m still trying to prune more that I feel is more superfluous than effective. (Of course in my case it doesn’t help my pruning that my lama keeps giving me something else to do for a few weeks or months, but that’s the danger of studying under someone.)
If you’re not sure try cutting something out for a month, and see how you feel. Does your life fall apart without your daily Middle Pillar? Does your monkey mind reassert itself if you drop that third short session of meditation? Find out if what you’re doing is actually serving you, or if you’re getting an appropriate return for it. If not, maybe it is a time to let it go. Sometimes the greater commitment or devotion to a few practices can give you far greater results than spreading your time and energy too thin.
The trouble is we’re creatures of habit, we do what is familiar, we do what we’re taught, and we get locked into these patterns. If you’ve never seen the video of chimpanzees and kids learning how to open a box it’s a great illustration. Compare how the children get locked into the pattern they’re taught, but the chimpanzees (with their monkey minds) don’t have that problem. (There is also a possibility of obedience and performance in this test…just ignore that variable to take the point)
It is more difficult to point to, but the same problem can occur when trying to achieve a magick goal. Sometimes you can over-magick a goal, and instead of getting a few forces working to the same end, you get a clusterfuck where nothing can happen and things interfere with each other. The most clear example of this I had was a goal several years ago and my working failed, so when I called up the spirit to see what went wrong they said to me “You summoned someone else to do the same thing, so I thought you wanted them to handle it.” By using two spirits, perhaps because they were from the same system, and not telling them to work together, they both did nothing assuming I wanted the other to do the work.
Of course it’s not just spirits in this sense that can begin to conflict with each other. Sometimes it is hard to predict what will conflict, what spheres and forces and spirits just won’t mesh. If you’re going to try enchanting for an end from multiple perspectives take some time to perform some divination first and see if each successive method will help or hinder.
Moral of the story: Stop doing useless shit.
14
Jan
2012
Water Offerings
I hate twitter. It keeps trying to rope me into conversations, that you can’t really have on twitter. Hence this post.
Water Offerings.
Water Offerings are a Tibetan Buddhist method leaving offerings for essentially any and all spirits. Offering water is nearly a universal practice showing up in pretty much all religions, though with different ideas, and methods. The method I use and describe is essentially one of the standard Tibetan systems, with two tweaks I’ll discuss.
Why offerings? Well there are hosts of reasons why it is a great idea to give offerings, sometimes it is payment, sometimes it is respect, sometimes friendship, other times simply compassion. Always parallel it to real life, if you want help from someone, they’re more likely to help if you’ve given them something, helped them out, fed them, and respected them, why would spirits be that different? Wouldn’t you share your good fortune with friends and family? Why are spirits that different?
Why water offerings? If I were to designate offerings as simple, complex, and medium, water offerings would be medium. Simple offerings would be ones of pure intention or energy, and they definitely have their places. Complex could be as “simple” as the eight traditional offerings, involving having flowers, bells, food, incense, and more, and can be a lot more than that. Water offerings are the best of both worlds. Energy offerings tend to dissipate, the moment your focus wavers it starts to go. Water serves to “stabilize” the intention into a form and lets it persist, so you get the versatility of an intention/energy offering, but with more of the solidity of a complex offering.
Traditional set of seven
So in the version I perform I use eight small cups, plus a ninth to bring the water to the altar. This is one of my differences, the number. Water offerings have different amounts, I prefer eight, because I already do the eight offerings and I’m familiar with them, and while several forms of water offerings do use the eight offerings they decide randomly to include a candle instead of the one cup, I use water for everything. I find the single candle mixed in with all the cups disrupts the flow in my head. You can either offer this to anything and everyone, or call up a specific spirit to dedicate it to, even if you “produce” far more than you think they need.
Place all the cups (or bowls) in a row from left to right and fairly close together, the width of a grain of barley or rice they say. Slowly pour the water into the first bowl, each drop, each particle of water represents a basin of warm clean water to wash the feet after a long journey. It is a symbol of rest and relaxation. As you pour repeatedly say “Om Ah Hum” and if you can visualize it, the Om creates the offering, the Ah multiples it many times, and the Hum distributes it to those in need. If you’re more Western A-I-O works instead. My personal tweak is once I’m done pouring the offering, I just focus on that cup. I really focus on making a clear visual, as big and as many as I can. Om, an ocean of water to wash the feet as far as my mind’s eye can see. Ah, a universe of these oceans. Hum, those in need throughout all the universes get what they need.
Once you are done, then take that cup and slowly pour most of it into the next cup, leaving some in the cup you’re pouring from. This time as you say Om Ah Hum (or A-I-O) the particles of water are glasses of fresh cold drinking water. Again finish with a really big offering and copious amounts of the offering.
You follow this pattern with all the following cups. The next offerings are flowers, incense, candles/light, scented water, food, and musical instruments. When you are done visualize the eight cups and repeat the multiplication and distribution for everything.
If you’re doing this for a specific entity each of the offerings can be customized for them. When offering in this manner for Tzamaron, my Mercurial Angel, the flowers and candles are orange, the incense is amber, etc. When offering to a peaceful being the food never contains meats. If offering to a specific departed person if I know them I offer their favourite drinks, food, scents, music, and the like. Things like this can make it more specific and appropriate.
I do a water offering in the morning, and in my nightly rituals I thank the spirits, pour everything back into one cup, and dispose of it; in a potted plant, in the backyard, even down the sink if done respectfully. Generally you should leave it out for a while, so the spirits can make use of it. You don’t drink it though, it was given to someone else, it is not yours. When you’re done dry all the cups and stack them upside down, this keeps them clean and makes sure each offering is fresh.
May you, and yours find benefit in this simple and elegant offering.
01
Jan
2012
Cleaning House: Exorcisms, Astral Tidying, and Blessing
Due to the plague I ended up home alone for New Years. Wasn’t my first choice, but not bothered by it and I did what any normal person would do when home alone on New Years, exorcise the house. With the New Year, New You prompt I had cleaned up the house, but it was time to take care of the other side of things. I usually cleanse the house whenever I feel it needs it, but I always do a major run down near New Years.
No babe, you can stay, I like them flexible.
Before anything starts I turn on a light in every room and closet, and open every door, internal and external. The idea is I want to expose everything, not forget anywhere, but I also want the paths to be clear for anything that wants to escape. For the Warning/Dismissal phase I fumigate the house with incense containing such things as sulphur, dragon’s blood, myrrh, and tobacco. I tell spirits to leave, I’m not banishing anything at this point, I’m polite with spirits, I’m letting them know I’ll be banishing soon and if they don’t want to get caught by it to get out. The incense makes them uncomfortable, but doesn’t force them out. I go room to room announcing it is time for them to leave, and what is coming next. I leave the incense burning in the front door frame until the final step.
Then I Shakeup the Energy. When energy flows get trapped -in mess, in unused area, in ignored spots- it solidifies a little, caked-on astral gunk. In this stage I basically get everything moving, some of it gets tossed out, but for the most part it’s just to loosen everything up, like the pre-soak before you scrub something. This step is pure Kalagni, something I’ve done for a decade, never been taught, never seen anything like it, probably horribly untraditional. Again I go room to room, this time with my singing bowl. Sound is a big thing in my paradigm and I find the hum of a singing bowl releases a type of energy I can manipulate, or it focuses me, or something. Anyways I use the energy-sound from the bowl to reach out into the corners, the crevices, and anywhere there is stuck energy, and I pull it loose and into the centre more. Some I toss before me, like sweeping out the heavy, some I just let sit, it will be taken care of in the next step.
The Primordial Party Girl
For the Blessings with incense including stuff like copal, frankincense, cedar, cloves, red sanders, and guar gum, I offer the smoke to the spirits. To friends, families, allies, spirits who work with me and walk with me, to angels, (obedient) demons, gods, goddesses, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Dakinis, Dakas, constructs, elementals, shidak/shadak (local spirits), to disincarnate and disembodied of all types, as long as they are welcome. I move from room to room offering them the incense, inviting them back or to stay, and asking they help protect and bless the house. As I go through the house any door that doesn’t need to be open is closed, and light not needed is turned off. This incense is left to burn out at the front door too, there is serves as an invitation for those I called.
That’s pretty much it. I admit it’s far from the streamlined/minimalist approach, but it’s once a year I can spare the hour, hour and a half, it takes. I was disappointed; I only had one bizarre occurrence this year. When I closed the back door, as soon as I turned away from it something slammed against it from outside, hard. I reinforced the area so I could open the door and look out. It’s the door of the inside section of the porch, so I thought maybe I left the outside door open and the wind got it. No, the back porch was sealed and still, no breeze, but something slammed against the door. By far not the most interesting or creepy manifestation I’ve had while banishing my house. Maybe astral uglies don’t love me anymore.
What about you, what do you do to clear your house? Are yearly (or scheduled) cleansings worth it?
30
Dec
2011
New Year, New You: Goals
Initially I wasn’t going to do New Year, New You because a lot of people talked about their goals in their intro post, and I didn’t want to. I got roped in, and sure enough goals became the second prompt. I love goals, but I felt it could be odd sharing them publicly, at least certain ones. In fact, me talking about my goals seems like me doing the next prompt, doing something that I’ve been putting off cause I don’t want to do it.
A bit on goals and resolutions and then I will get to my personal goals. Some people scoff at New Year’s resolutions, and it is true a lot of them fail, but not all. I can’t find the abstract anymore, but I read in a study that New Year’s resolutions are about 4-8% more likely to succeed than resolutions made at another time. I know 4-8% isn’t much, but with most resolutions we need all the help we can get. Different studies say different percents but only 8%, 12%, or 22% of New Year’s resolutions are successful. According to that study the main reasons people fail are focusing on the negative aspects of their goals (how much time is “wasted” in a gym for example), rather than the reality of the situation, and focused unrealistically on succeeding, fantasizing rather than planning and working.
The article linked lists some things that help, and Deb mentions some in her prompt, and I’ll mention my own too. First off break your resolution down into smaller chunks, these can be increments (rather than losing 20 lbs set four goals of losing 5 lbs) or steps; so getting a new job becomes narrowing the field, looking into whatever training or education is required for the new position, taking that, or arranging to take it, applying to the job itself. Second publicize your goals. I have issues doing this, but people do succeed more when they let others know their goals. When I was first getting back into shape I used to post my jogs on facebook, because I knew some people were rooting for me and if I didn’t post, they’d know I was slacking.
Make your resolutions SMART. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Temporal. Saying you want to lose lots of weight someday isn’t a good goal. Wanting to lose 10 lbs by May is better. Wanting to lose 10 lbs by May by tracking calories and jogging twice a week, now you have a SMART resolution. Clear goals, with metrics you can track, that are reasonable within your life and context, are important to you, and with a time frame, those are the points that make for a successful goal. With that actually track it. Having a goal of 10 lbs by May won’t help if you don’t weigh in every week or so to make sure you’re on the right track.
My goals I’m skipping some of the break down so as not to bore with specifics.
Pick up my academic slack. First term was really hard for me due to ridiculous time restrictions that compounded, second term I’m going to stay on top of them. I’m going to maintain my minimum A average and my placement in the 10% of my University (which means I get to wear my “I’m Smarter than You” gold pin). The how is easy, I just didn’t make it work first time, I’ll complete all my readings the day before lecture and all projects two days before they are due. In both cases that gives me some leeway in case life happens.
Magickal Progress. I’ve decided to take two new magickal trainings over the next year to expand myself some. First step is already taken as I signed up with Jason Miller for his course, I just have to keep on top of that and find another to do later in the year. Related to that idea I will attend temple lessons at least twice a month, and a group meditation once a month.
Expanding my occult business. Aside from doing my magickal odd-jobs I’ve decided to start producing as well. My current timeline places me launching after New Year New You ends, with things being ready by March, but still thought I’d include it. I have all the equipment I need and a fair amount of samples created, now it’s just the ridiculously long process of consecrating everything.
Now, on the magickal side for my academic slack I’m going to work with Tzamaron, my beloved Mercurial Angel to help keep my mind in fighting form, but I’m also going to get back into working with time-tweaking. I don’t know yet if I’ll use Fotamecus again, or work without him, but do some work to make sure I have the time to get everything done. Also, considering the most important part of my degree is based on an interpersonal evaluation, that person will be getting a good dose of compulsion to find me awesome.
As for magickal progress, that goes is pretty much magicked up enough, but I’ll do some divination work for the Equinox to see where my second external training may come from.
My occult business. You know, I’m not sure, I have a few spirits that would be appropriate in theory for production and crafting, but I’m not sure if it is their sphere or not. Since I don’t know how to magick it, I’ll work on divining some advice for it.
I have other goals, some far more boring, some far more personal, but I’ve put out three, that’s enough to get me going.
Be ready everyone for the new year.
22
Dec
2011
New Year, New You: Making Way
So after some waffling I decided a little cultish activity never hurt anyone -who isn’t a virgin, so I’m exceedingly safe. I’m going to do the New Year, New You put out by everyone’s favourite magickal dilettante, Deb. If you’re unfamiliar with what it is, see the original post, and if you’re too lazy to click but willing to read here it’s basically about magickally taking charge of this coming year. I decided to do it because right now it currently matches up with what I’m doing, and I keep saying to people I just need prompts and ideas to work sometimes, so hopefully Deb and her muse will help me shape up a bit this year.
First prompt: Making Way
You can’t start putting all this awesome new crap into your life and body until you get rid of the old crap. Old crap here is defined as many things such as relationships that are no longer working, old crutches, clutter of the mind and of the house.
Igne Interficiatur
Cleaning House: Due to extenuating circumstances I’ve been really behind on housework and school work since September. Deb makes a point I completely agree with, clutter messes up the energy flow of a house, usually I’m on top of this. I have Christmas break though, I can already see more of my bedroom floor than I have since September. My room will be clean by New Years, and once my room is done it’s just a quick matter to fix the rest of the house. As for her concerns about holding onto crap I’m lucky; I’m non-sentimental, a Buddhist, with a Grandmother who was a full-blown hoarder, so really I don’t hold onto much. In fact the only thing I really keep would be books. I’m sorry, but I love books, they’re better than people. Also because of my work: personal, academic, and magickal I need to constantly reference books. I’ll give them a once over to see any that are truly useless to me and donate/sell them, but I doubt that would eliminate more than 25.
Time: I was playing catch-up, piled on catch-up, piled on catch-up, which is not an efficient way to use your time. I’m catching up on my readings for school and cleaning up. Since I no longer have to spend five hours a day in ritual this semester I won’t have to play catch-up. TV. I’ve been debating for a while, but now is as good of a time as any, I’m getting rid of my satellite. I don’t watch much TV, when I do it always takes up more time than I plan (catching that 30 minute program becomes at least an hour), and anything I really want to watch I can do so on the computer putting me in control, rather than network programming. I’m also going to limit recreational online time to a max of two hours a night. It shouldn’t be hard, I used to do that, but like TV it slowly grew. I haven’t been keeping track, but less computer time should open up at least five more hours a week.
Big Rocks: I was going to put this under Time, but it fits here too and fits my mental state a lot better. Until one of my volunteer positions ends, I’m not going to take up another volunteer job, and I’m not going to do more than 10% overtime in them. I currently co-facilitate a Queer/Trans youth group, I’m site support for a mentoring program for high achieving high school students from the poorest neighbourhoods in my city, I help out with a tutoring program, and I’m an unidentified position with a local high school’s Equity Club (Gay Straight Alliance). This on top of going to University more than fulltime, with a four hour round trip, and all the other obligations of life. I barely have time for everything as is. I can safely drop the tutoring (it’s overstaffed) and once that is done I won’t take up another position until one of my current one ends, and maybe not even then. I have a bad habit of people tossing responsibility at me and if it is something that holds my interest I run with it, but to do so will just wear my down and make me less efficient in what I want to do.Another rock I’m going to drop is some social conditioning about family. Family is a huge thing to me, in multiple senses of the word. In the last year I’ve been trying to revive a relationship with someone in my family, I see them fairly often, we talk a bit, but there is less socio-emotional connection than any of my friendships. I love him but as people in a social context there is nothing there, so I am going to stop trying to become social and friendly with them, which means no more awkward dinners where nothing is said, and come to terms with the fact that family bonds and love don’t require friendly, constant, social interaction. We were fine before I thought the relationship needed to be fixed/revived (I don’t know if it was ever vived), and I can stop funnelling time and emotional energy into something that -at least for now- isn’t working.
To me this seems like a lot of Saturn work is in my future for the next week or two, plenty of shielding and boundary work, cleansing, chopping, cutting, and releasing. Thankfully I’m a fairly Saturnian person (born on Saturnalia to boot), which is why Saturn appears in symbolic and non-symbolic forms in my blog banner, so I’m at least ready to start some chopping.
17
Dec
2011
Birthdays, Miracles, and the Year Ahead.
Slept in, my room is drifting with the smell of my favourite incense, and a plate that held my decadent breakfast lies empty in front of me. Life is good, life is always good, but today is better and the start of a better period. Today is the day that the Cosmos became manifest, my birthday.
Though this year is a bit more subdued I generally treat my birthday as a holy day. Why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t we? We celebrate the birthdays of our gods, saints, and religious figures as holy days, but we’re deserving of it to. Most mystic traditions agree whatever Ultimate is out there, we are that Ultimate: distilled, miniaturized, shattered, lost, whatever. It’s us. Tat tvam asi.
Embrace your birthday, not just as a day of gifts, cake, and checking the mirror for more grey (note to self: redye my hair), but a day of celebration, contemplation. Cosmos became manifest on your birthday; billions of random particles came together to make you (they’re all gone now and other particles have taken your place, but it was a beginning); billions of unlikely circumstances came together to make you (the right sperm with the right egg, your parents meeting, your parents surviving long enough to procreate in a chain that repeats going back billions of years); spirit took up flesh, the divine descended into the human. When viewed in that way we are so exceedingly unlikely we might as well be impossible, but we’re here, all the factors were perfect, and we’re here. Celebrate! Sorry to go Dr. Jonathan Osterman on my blog (I’m really not), but we are all such impossible creatures, yet we forget, we overlook the wonder that is our very existence. Embrace it.
I love the placement of my birthday. The Sun is Conjunct the Galactic Centre, which has great meaning to me, and it’s just days before the Solstice and two weeks exactly before New Years. If you’ve read this blog for a year this is a bit of a rehash. I treat the two weeks between my birthday and New Years as a kind of twilight period. Really my birthday is when a year begins and ends, but New Years is so close too. So in these two weeks I transition from year to year. For two weeks my magickal/spiritual practice becomes optional. Why? It lets me see what I still want to do, what is still serving me, and gives me time to plan a new routine if needed. For these two weeks I re-evaluate my goals, check at my successes and failures to meet goals over the year, figure out what went wrong and right and where to go from here. Forwards, not backwards, upwards, not forwards. I rewrite the letters that will be released on my death, probably my oldest birthday tradition, stemming back to when we weren’t sure I’d survive to do the adult thing.
Also as it is the twilight of the year I find it’s a brilliant time to do magick to shape the following year. There is something about transition points, dusk and twilight, equinoxes, it is as if the reality of the before period is weakening, but the reality of what is yet to come isn’t in place yet and in that divide, that crack, there lies magick. So in this period morphing into the New Year, I discard the old: physically, mentally, magickally; I evaluate and divine my path, and I seize this halflight of the year and begin to make my next year.
Not everyone is lucky enough to share my birthday (Mega Man, Bart Simpson, and Eugene Levy do) but it’s not needed, it’s convenient. For most people that gap between Christmas and New Years seems to occupy this same nebulous place, it’s not quite this year, but it’s not next year yet.
Evaluate your year, mundanely/intellectually and magickally/intuitively, what worked and what didn’t? Plan your next year in the same manner: think, intuit, research, and divine. Create your next year, seize this in-between place and magick your way to your future. And celebrate my birthday, it couldn’t hurt.
12
Dec
2011
Divining Direction: Planning Magick
Recently I’ve been talking with an occultist from the city; he asked me about my “occult odd-jobs” as mentioned on my About page. He asked me hypothetically what I’d do for someone asking about wealth magick. There are two “levels” of service I provide. One is a very simple one size fits all; granted what it is changes from time to time but it’s usually a charm and a short petition, no real depth or detail. The other is more in depth, rather than just tossing wealth magick at someone I investigate the source of the issue and work out how to solve this case specifically. More time intensive, but I prefer it. So I couldn’t really answer…until about a week and a half after that someone contacted me for some financial work. With her permission I’m going to talk about the process of the investigation and how I decided what to do. For people who are used to just tossing magick blindly at problems hopefully this will show a bit more about narrowing down and focusing the aims. Sometimes it is a very narrow and clear cut process, sometimes like this it is a bit more intuitive and open-ended.
To start off with I generally use a Mo divination. It is very clear in regards to what is causing a problem and how to solve it. So I cast the die and received Ah Tsa – The Bright Star. This lists the various types of wealth coming your way. I was actually very confused by this, the person is having financial problems and the first step of the divination essentially said “Don’t worry about it, money is on the way.”
I then turn the tarot, but usually I have a clear direction in mind thanks to the Mo, this time I didn’t. Using the Watcher Angel Tarot I began my spread. “What do I need to know to improve “Moni”’s finances over the next month?” XXI – The World – Metatron. Everything must be pulled together magick-wise, the answer will come from everything I’ve learnt. This wasn’t going to be easy, it’s a card about magick, but it’s about the completion, everything used along the way, whatever my method was to be it wasn’t going to be simple.
Understanding the cause is important in planning. If Moni was unemployed, just divorced, or recently robbed, each would require a different magickal path to help best. So what is the cause of the financial problems? IV – The Emperor – Azazel. The Emperor is a sign of the system, so I’m pretty sure the money problem is the government’s fault. Another problem would likely be giving others control and not being active enough.
How can the issues of the Emperor be overcome? Nine of Pentacles. Create, art projects, produce, accept the windfall that is coming and charge into it. I didn’t know what this meant.
After the first stage of divination was done I contacted Moni with the results and asked for more details. It felt very odd, I’ve never had to say “You want me to do some financial magick, but apparently money is already on the way.” Anyways, I got my clarification one of the main issues is the government recently recalculated her deceased husband’s pension and started sending her almost half what they used to. So it was a government issue, another smaller part of it, was Moni runs a hobby jewellery business on the weekends and in fighting with the government over the benefits she’s been too stressed to keep it up, even though it wasn’t a major loss it started to add up. I asked since apparently money was on its way if she wanted my services still, she decided even if it looks like it is improving she’d like some help so we began looking at this as financial maintenance magick.
Continuing the divination: What can I do magickally? Two of Swords – Stalemate. This just gets better and better. I wasn’t sure what to think about this, tossed around a few ideas in my head and none clicked, so I turned to the book and read “Opposing forces are locked in balance, for the moment.” That clicked. Mercury is Retrograde and turning stationary tomorrow. That’s the “for the moment.”
What can I do after Mercury goes Direct? VIII – Strength – Turiel. Okay maybe there was a bit of bias using the Watcher Angel Tarot, but aside from the meaning of the card I felt it was pretty clear it was to be an Angelic working. Strength is always about a subtle power to me, coercion, and grace, so this is going to be a gentle working. Not a strong evocation, but something gentle. I’ve sent Moni an Angelic Seal to use and she is to offer it water, bread, and a tealight candle each day along with a two sentence prayer. I’m doing the same thing on my end, except the Angel is receiving an eight-fold offering (a Buddhist practice) each day with a longer prayer and petition and a specially crafted honey jar filled with the usual things and a few offering ingredients specific to this angel. This will be done until at least January first, when Mercury it out of its shadow. Moni can continue it after that point, but until then is the only obligation on our part.
While checking the astrology of the situation I realized Jupiter is also Retrograde (people only complain about Mercury) and while not horribly transiting her chart, it could be better, but it’s almost over. So I asked what I could do once Jupiter goes Direct? King of Wands. This is a card about passion and strength, the ability to forge ahead, to pick a goal and trample over anything to get it. Don’t be deceived by how the King is lounging, he only looks so relaxed because he is so confident. King of Wands is also Fire of Fire. So lots of Fire and trampling obstacles, to me it was a pretty clear choice. Once Jupiter is Direct I’ll perform a Riwo sangchö (ri bo bsang mchod), a type of smoke and fire offering. Along with the traditional ingredients in the offering I’ll include several with Jovial attributes. This offering is accompanied by a ritual, in this case the offering will be dedicated primarily to Jovial forces, to help pick them up in Moni’s life as Jupiter comes out of Retrograde, to feed and prime these attributes, as well as to clear obstacles from Moni’s path. Also a request that Jupiter keep the path open, and an evocation to a Jovial spirit with the aim that Moni continues to get her benefits and the government doesn’t try to cut out any more.
So Moni is getting a variety of services, like the World indicated. Some Ceremonial Magick, some Hoodoo, some Buddhist rituals. As her problem apparently is taking care of itself this became more of a financial magick tune-up, rather than a rescue, which is unusual, but not a bad idea. Some work on keeping what is functioning working well, as well as work to try to call in some new life to these matters.
Mayhaps from time to time I’ll post these type of reports, just to show a little bit of what can be done about narrowing down your magick. As this was a tune-up it didn’t get as precise as I often would, but I think serves as an example of the process of figuring out what is to be done.