meditation

24
Jun
2012

Welcome to Your Mind (Part I)


(This entry is based on a recent workshop I presented with a friend of mine. It is partially written from my notes, and partially transcribed. While my friend’s section of the workshop on Zen was fascinating I’ve left out his section as it is his intellectual property and I am not a Zen Buddhist so would feel ill-equipped to discuss it)
It seems no matter where you are in the spiritual/occult community one piece of advice always comes up: meditate. “I don’t know what to do about this.” Meditate. “I can’t see or hear the angels clearly.” Meditate. “My energy is unfocused.” Meditate. “Who is my spirit guide?” Meditate. “I keep getting distracted from my practice.” Meditate. Meditate, meditate, meditate. This is the piece of advice I see over and over and over and over again. Pretty much whatever the problem is, someone will suggest meditation. Don’t know how to meditate and you ask them? Their response? Meditate!
What is meditation? People toss around that word, and they don’t explain what this is, how to meditate, and it gets really frustrating to watch as it’s repeated like a mindless mantra. It’s counterproductive to toss out this advice repeatedly. So while there are many reasons to meditate, one of the reasons I wanted to teach this workshop was to actually share how to meditate in some different forms. Not all meditations do the same thing, or appeal in the same way, that’s why I’m presenting a variety of forms.
Taken from http://www.children.dhamma.org/en/teens/what-is-anapana.shtmlTo start off with I’ll be discussing anapana meditation, which is the earliest documented form of meditation within Buddhism. Mythically according to Theravadan sects it is considered the form of meditation that Siddhartha Gautama used to achieve enlightenment and become the Buddha. The name just means breathing, as that is the focus of the meditation, and it is sometimes called anapanasati meaning awareness of breathing.
The basic theory behind anapana meditation is that we’re a bundle of corrupted karma and sankara, in modern terms you could roughly say neurosis and conditioning, which isn’t to remove the spiritual aspect of karma/sankara but more explain how they affect our life. They interfere with our emotional and mental well being, and when we let them interfere we actually reinforce them and increase them. By becoming aware of them we can let them occur without feeding them. It is as if they are fuel to a fire, every time we act on this karma/sankara we toss more fuel into the fire, but if we just observe them at let it occur then the fire consumes the fuel rather than being fed more. Anapana is a very grounded meditation, it works off the idea that we can’t meditate on abstract ideas, so we meditate on the body and sensations because those are relatively concrete. Instead of meditating on our emotions, we focus on where and how the emotions interface with our body. Karma/sankara act as conditioned responses, and the majority of our actions are based in them, but by releasing them we develop a greater ability to choose how to act, rather than reacting.
To perform anapana sit comfortably. Any seated posture will do as long as it can be maintained and is comfortable. Picture a triangle starting at the top of your nose between your brows, going down to the corners of your mouth, this is the arena that we use for anapana. Breathe normally, don’t try to breathe deeply, or slowly, let breath happen. Now observe physical sensations within that triangle, what do you feel? The subtle shift in temperature as you breathe in and out? The soft rush against your nostrils? An itch on the top of your nose? At first you may not feel anything, that isn’t because there is no sensation there, only that your mind is too unfocused to feel something so subtle. Don’t count the breaths, or think “In-Out,” just let them happen. This entire meditation is about observing and letting happen. If your nose itches don’t scratch it, don’t get annoyed, just “watch” the itch with your awareness. Any sensation you have, don’t reject it, don’t accept it, don’t react, only observe it until it fades away. As you gain greater focus change the arena, only do from the nostrils down, or eventual just observing the nostrils.
Now rather quickly you’ll realize you stopped paying attention to your breath and that’s okay, simply note that you are distracted and resume the focus on your breathing. To keep the mind focused on the breath for a while is a challenge, you may not even make it ten seconds, and that’s fine, as long as you realize you got distracted and bring your attention back. Like physical sensations don’t judge these distracting thoughts, or the act of distraction, don’t get upset you’re failing, because you’re not, simply bring your focus back to the breath. A teacher once told me “true meditation isn’t the ability to control focus, but the moment you realize you’ve lost focus and regain it.” You will get distracted, a lot, but when it happens bring your focus back to your breath, and you’ll find after a while you’ll get distracted less, and catch your wandering mind sooner, it just takes practice.
There is an advanced “sibling” of anapana called vipassana, but you can’t perform vipassana without having a really good handle on anapana. Vipassana means clear-seeing, and if you’re proficient at anapana, you can move onto it. Much like you focused on just your nostrils in anapana, in vipassana you pick a general area of the body (scalp, face, neck) and observe the bodily sensations there. Then as you become more proficient you shrink the area of focus until you’re watching your body in segments as small as a finger nail, and seeing what sensations arise there. To give a sense of how proficient one should be to begin vipassana, if you attend a retreat at a Vipassana Centre run by S.N. Goenka, for three days straight, over twelve hours a day, you practice anapana, only after that intensive (and it is intense) can you even struggle to begin vipassana. So don’t think you can jump into vipassana right away, and if you think you can and have, you’re deceiving yourself about the level of focus and awareness you have developed.
Next entry we jump ahead a few centuries and start spreading the love.

Posted by kalagni in blueflamemagick
18
May
2011

Kalagni's Tree of Life


Or: Let’s not sqabalah about the details.
Why hello there synchronicity, I suppose you want me to write about my attributions for the Tree of Life and why I redesigned parts. I say this because I was away at a convention for the weekend and when discussing tarot and the Tree of Life I ended up explaining to someone that I use a different model of my own creation. Part of it I’ve debated may have to do with blinds, and when catching up on my blogs saw a link to an old post by Ananael Qaa about blinds and a post by Robert (referencing Ananael Qaa in another circumstance) about his model of the Tree and worlds. So since I lacked my Tree to show my friend this weekend I thought I might post about it and then various things have cropped up so I’ll take that as a sign to post about.
This entry will won’t be super-complicated but a basic interest/understanding of the Qabalah, especially with the Golden Dawn model, would definitely make this easier to process.
Now in order to discuss my Tree I should probably mention some other tweaks that relate to it. As a disclaimer I am not now nor have I been a member of the Golden Dawn, I may use a Golden Dawn inspired system of magick, but not the Golden Dawn system. So what I put forth admits the possibility that ideas were changed due to a lack of knowledge achieved in initiation.
I like the notion of the Golden Dawn colour system, I have a highly structured mind that likes systems. Unfortunately you can’t just toss a correspondence system at me because unless there is a logical system underneath it that I can recognize, I can’t make use of the system. “I was asked to memorise what I did not understand; and, my memory being so good, it refused to be insulted in that manner.” So saith Uncle Al. The Golden Dawn Qabalah has a logic underneath it which allows the basic framework to be expanded upon, this I like, but there are a few things I don’t like/understand.
I work with the Queen Colour scale, just to put the following discussion in context. The colour attributions of the Astrological signs make a great deal of sense. Starting with red in Aries you follow the colour wheel hitting the primary, secondary, and tertiary colours in the order of the spectrum, simple, and logical. The colour attributions of the Spheres on the Tree make sense. First triangle is shades, second triangle is primary colours, third triangle is secondary colour, makes sense, the which goes where makes sense too, but more in-depth than I need here. Then you get the planetary colours and…wait…what?
Now I know planetary forces shouldn’t be confused with the forces of the Sephiroth but if they’re associated why should they be different? Why should the colours of the planets and spheres of Sun and Mercury be reversed, or Jupiter and the Moon, and why is Saturn a fake colour? Perhaps there is a reason, perhaps it was overlooked, perhaps it’s a blind, I dislike it, and I find it useless. I know it follows the colour spectrum order when you put the planets in order of apparent motion, but I don’t think that’s enough for me to have it counter the colours of the Sephiroth. Not to de-power the GD colour system, but I view it as process of psychological training, you teach your mind to associate and categorize different forces. What happens when you try to get your brain to process and integrate illogical information? Any sci-fi fan can give you the answer, and while we may not be computers I don’t think it is useful to try to get this to integrate. Let me clearly state this is different than trying to integrate a paradox.
So to me the planets are the same colours as the spheres. The fact they match makes logical sense and when you look at the ruling planets of the astrological signs you get several of the signs to match up where they didn’t before (Mercury is orange and so is Gemini, Sun is yellow and so is Leo) and you get no new times where sign/planet do not match. Saturn is the only exception being black, but there is no black zodiac sign. This is simpler, requires your mind not to memorize a bunch of exceptions, and makes a lot of the associations match up better. If your mind is holding conflicting associations neither will be held to the conviction it could be held without that conflict. This means if your mind is holding conflicting views (especially within the same system) you can’t get the full force of your belief/understanding behind them, and this limits the focus/force you can put into your magick.
That being said moving onto the Tree I gave that disclaimer so people aren’t confused when they look at the colours of the Paths/Letters on the Tree. The layout of the letters on the Tree doesn’t make sense to me. Well it does, I get it, it is alphabetical, which makes sense with a language like English, where the letter C is the letter C is the letter C and there is nothing hidden/extra about it. Hebrew doesn’t work like that. There are three classes of letter: Mothers, Doubles, and Singles, of which there are three, seven, and twelve respectively. Qabalistically these letters are the three elements (no Earth), seven planets, and twelve astrological signs. There are three directions of Paths on the Tree: horizontal, vertical, and diagonal, of which there are three, seven, and twelve respectively.
This is the basis of my version of the Tree. Alphabetically makes little sense, it reveals nothing, seems lazy, and a touch unaware of the letters and their division/meanings. So why not make use of the way the structure of the Hebrew alphabet matches the structure of the Tree? I did, which leads me to this image.

Click for full size


This is one of the revisions I’ve made, and I’ve been working with it for quite a while now and enjoy it, more importantly I find it fruitful. Sometimes I worry it may be too balanced, or out of balance, you’ll notice red colours predominate on one side, and blue on the other.
The three horizontal paths become the three Mother letters, the three elementals, and also serve as the divider between Qabalistic worlds. Granted I’m not a fan of the model that the worlds are divided on the Tree, I much prefer a Jacob’s Ladder model (which I don’t see as much so maybe I’ll write on that at some point), but if I were to divide the Tree with the worlds, then the elemental/mother/horizontal paths lend themselves to it quite well. Atziluth (associated with Fire) is comprised of the upper three Spheres, with the Path of Shin (Fire) as the boundary. Briah (associated with Water) is comprised of the middle three Spheres with the Path of Mem (Water) and Tiphereth as the boundary. Yetzirah (associated with Air) is the bottom three Sphere with the Path of Aleph (Air) and Yesod as the boundary. Lastly Assiah is Malkuth.
For the seven vertical paths there are the seven double letters, the seven planets. In each case the planetary letter rises up from the sphere it is associated with, with the exception of Saturn/Tau which rises out of Malkuth instead of Binah. Two reasons: Binah has no vertical path above it, and Saturn/Tau plays double-duty in many systems also representing Earth, so rising out of Malkuth the Earth-Plane.
The twelve diagonal paths were the hardest to work on, and have been through the most revisions. After trying a lot of planetary and astrological juggling I got a lay out I like. It was a process of elimination. I started off by having the colour-matched sign descend from the Sphere that the planetary path ascended to. So the Path of Mars/Peh rises into Binah, the Path of Aries (the red Martial astrological sign, while Scorpio is blue-green martial) descends on the diagonal from Binah for example. When I couldn’t do that I used to the colour/sphere associations. So Cancer, which is Yellow/Orange is placed on the Path connecting Tiphareth (Yellow) and Hod (Orange), this wasn’t my first choice and seems superficial (and might be) but I find it actually works rather well. The two signs that are half purple rise diagonally from Yesod (purple) toward the side their colour is mixed with. The Path of Ayin/Capricorn is Purple/Blue, so it rises to the right toward the side of Chesed as an example.
This leaves four letters/Paths unassigned. Heh/Taurus, Tet/Leo, Nun/Scorpio, and Tzaddi/Aquarius. These just happen to be the four Fixed signs, and where we get the surrounding image on the World and Wheel of Fortune cards of the Bull, Lion, Eagle, and Human. Appropriately they become the four “framing” diagonal paths. They were the hardest to assign. I originally tried their layout from the zodiac and above tarot cards, but didn’t like it. I decided to have Tet/Leo descend into Binah rather than Tzaddi/Aquarius. No Sphere had a sign they rule descending into them, so I figured Binah should not be the exception. As they are ruled by the Sun and Saturn, and are Yellow and Purple, they are balanced, so they became the top two paths. Heh/Taurus, and Nun/Scorprio descend into Malkuth on the side of their colour predominance.
So that is the Tree of Life model I use, for meditation, magick, and understanding. I find it far easier and effective to work with the standard Golden Dawn model, or any of the other Trees of modern or classic origin with the Paths on a different arrangement. Hopefully I made sense, feel free to ask questions, comment, or throw the standard ceremonial “You changed something!” hissy-fit.

Posted by kalagni in blueflamemagick
28
Nov
2010

Review: Bardo Teachings – Venerable Lama Lodo


Bardo Teachings: The Way of Death and Rebirth – Venerable Lama Lödo
Snow Lion. 1982. 73pp. 0937938602.
I believe no religion has put as much thought and study into death, dying, and rebirth as Tibetan Buddhism has. The Bardo Thodol, or The Great Liberation through Hearing in the Between is the well-known (if poorly understood) Tibetan text on the process of dying, what is seen after death, and what happens to the consciousness. This book represents an expansion of the thoughts from the Bardo Thodol from an oral lineage granted by the Very Venerable Kalu Rinpoche.
While there are six Bardos, or Between States, only three of them relate to death; the Chikai Bardo, the Chonyi Bardo, and the Sipai Bardo. The Chonyi Bardo is the Bardo after death, and receives most of the focus in the Bardo Thodol, and as such is glazed over in this text. The Chikai Bardo, the Bardo of dying, and the Sipai Bardo, the Bardo of preparing and searching for the next rebirth, on the other hand are the main focus of the text. This book is not for people without a grounding in Tibetan Buddhism, it assumes a basic understanding exists of Buddhist principles, the Bardo Thodol and of the esoteric Buddhist symbolism used in Tibetan Buddhism.
There is little about the core of the teachings that can be easily explained, it is simply a detailed look at the process of dying and the state of the mind during death, and then an exploration of the experiences and processes that lead to rebirth. For those interested in the tradition, it is definitely an intriguing and insightful read. Lama Lödo finishes each chapter with a Question-Answer section, which contain many interesting points. The ones I found most interesting included that being under medication while dying is detrimental to rebirth because of the confusion it creates (16) which as someone with my medical history has often been a concern of mine, and that the experiences of the Bardos will be different without the religious background of Tibetan Buddhism (17). He says simply that the figures, deities, and images of the Bardo will be just colours and forms that will frighten and confuse people who aren’t Buddhist, where as I feel, considering the system, that without the background it would still be a relevant religious experience, instead of just a confusing light show.
Either way this is an interesting text, if you’ve read the Bardo Thodol and would like to see some aspects explained clearly and discussed this is probably a good place to start.

Posted by kalagni in blueflamemagick
03
Oct
2010

Dissolution of the Elements and Dreaming


Lying on your back, take a few deep breaths and relax. See a yellow cube within your lowest chakra, it is the Earth within your body. Slowly the cube crumbles apart; as it breaks Earth leaves the body. Your joints grow stiff and your body feels heavy, and you feel as if you could not move if you tried. The cube crumbles apart completely leaving nothing behind. In the centre above the root see a white sphere, the Water within your body. Slowly the sphere evaporates, as it does so Water leaves the body. Your heart slows as the Water leaves, the blood slows, and the mouth relaxes and dries. The sphere evaporates until nothing is left. In the centre above see a red tetrahedron, the Fire within your body. The pyramid cracks, drifting apart like sparks from a fire, as it does the Fire leaves your body. The heart slows even more, and the internal heat of the body dissipates leaving a chill in the bones. The tetrahedron sparks until there is no trace of it. In the centre above see a green bowl, the Air within your body. Slowly the bowl wisps away like dry sand caught in the wind, as this happens Air leaves your body. As Air leaves your body your breathing slows down and grows shallow. The last vestige of the bowl is blown away.
The above is a really simple meditation I’ve been doing before bed for the last month and a bit. My Lama was discussing dream phenomena in passing a while back, which led to a conversation about dreams, dream yoga, magickal use of dreams, and lucid dreams. I mentioned that dreams have always been a challenge for me, little recall, and little control, not much of use for me. I had to make a construct a few years ago to help me finally remember my dreams, and she works wonders -as long as I remember to call her before I sleep.
My Lama suggested that I may be too attached to my body, not in the traditional Buddhist sense, but a physical grounding/attachment, and that my mind is trapped in the physical arena when I sleep. I agree, I’ve had personal experiences to confirm this, and my Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor told me the same thing years ago. Based on this advice my Lama gave me the above meditation to do before bed, I’ve been doing it for different reasons for probably two years now, but never before bed.
The basic theory behind the meditation is twofold. First off, the body is composed of, and contains the four elements, and these elements are rooted in the four lowest chakras. From the bottom up they contain Earth, Water, Fire, and Air; the order starts with the most solid to the least. Interestingly enough, this order is the same across most yoga traditions, even if the chakras are not, so in a tradition that has five centres for example Fire moves from the Solar Plexus to the Heart, same order just a different placement. Secondly, as the body goes to sleep it goes through the same process it goes through at death, but not to the same degree. That process is described most famously in the Bardo Thodol, and involves the elements dissolving in the body, like the meditation above.
Since I’ve been performing this meditation my dreams have been easier to recall, more vivid (even when they are boring dreams about analyzing poetry for meter, rhyme, feet, and rhythm), more numerous, and I even fall asleep quicker. It is too early to say what benefit I’m getting, but I am noticing results. Since the meditation is very simple and not based on an esoteric teaching I thought I’d share it here for other people to try out. It is a safe practice, the body goes through the dissolution and reintegration of the elements on a daily basis, just some of us need a bit more help. When you wake up in the morning the elements reconstitute within the body, you’re not in danger of loosening yourself too much through this. I just run through this meditation when I lay down for bed, and often drift off right afterwards, sometimes I repeat it, and if I still don’t fall asleep I just stay there, relaxed. It’s a simple practice but helpful.
 

Posted by kalagni in blueflamemagick